


Hux Met Kylo Ren In the Hallway

by Giligan_Grapes



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: I think I officially coined Hux Machina, M/M, Silly, but funny I hope, officially Kylux, verbal insults, verbal petting, wtf am I doing in the Star Wars fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 21:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6094897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giligan_Grapes/pseuds/Giligan_Grapes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And boy, it was a jolly encounter.</p><p>(Also, thank you hollycomb for making me appreciate these characters.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hux Met Kylo Ren In the Hallway

**Author's Note:**

> So this is like the steamy, hot, arousing fanfictions you can read about these two... except for the sexy part and adding more to the part about Huxie and Kylo arguing all the time. But in case verbal petting is your thing, then this is your place.

Things were going sour for the Dark Side, but the real blows were not received on the battlefield, they were received mutually by two allies arguing loudly in a hallway.

One of them was a gingerly try-hard mass murderer, General Hux. The other was a fuzzy-haired try-hard mass murderer, Kylo Ren.

Hux apparently dared to trespass the emo-corner of Kylo; thus, after exchanging the initial unbecoming nicknames, the feud quickly transformed into a quality shitstorm.

 

This is how it went.

 

Kylo started on a strong note. “Hey, you know what’s another word for failure? Hux Machina.”

Hux did not fear dealing the heavy cards. “You know, the real Dark Knight lost both his parents when he was a child. I guess that makes you a latebloomer.”

Kylo liked dragging others into shit. “Phasma said she found your balls in the trash compactor… with a magnifying glass.”

Hux resolved fast to go ugly about it (pardon the pun). “You’re so hideous you’re not using the Force to push things away, they keep flying away from you.”

Kylo liked ice cream. “When I first saw you in that ridiculous hat, I thought you wanted to sell me ice cream.”

Hux became so lowly. “At least that explains why you suck.”

Kylo seemed to be the winning party. “Has anyone told you why it is called the First Order? Because it is the first one to be run by a ginger moron.”

Hux rehashed some earlier ideas. “I like your hair. Come to think of it, it looks an awfully lot like that wookie’s. Are you sure you killed your real father?”

Kylo swiftly parried. “That same wookie styled your hair with its tongue, it seems like. It looks so sticky.”

Hux was desperate by this point. “Funny you should mention that, even if you glue the lightsaber to your hand, that girl would still manage to wreck your ass.”

Kylo was on fire. “You’re not a girl, but you managed to wreck the whole mission. Or wait…”

Now Hux wanted to insult another father figure. “Funny, coming from Snoke’s girl scout.”

Kylo disapproved. “To you, he is 'Supreme Leader'. I understand that is an unfamiliar concept to you.”

Hux was ready to escalate the situation. “The only unfamiliar thing here is my fist. Let me introduce it to your whiny face.”

Kylo gladly accepted the invitation. “Only after I introduced my fist to your ass. And then you’ll be finished”

Hux had to retort one last time. “You can’t even finish what your grandfather started, but I believe you’re really good at 1-minute projects involving your hand.”

Many loud, angry, yet satisfied sounds echoed through the hallway long after these words were uttered.


End file.
